Unavoidable Addiction
by ashleyann
Summary: After being ordered to kidnap and kill Isabella Swan, Edward has a difficult decision to make, stick by his long time friend, or risk everything for the girl who makes him feel like never before?
1. Chapter 1

**If you've have clicked on this story I will love you forever. This is my first ever story and I'm so excited to share with you. I would like to thank my kick ass beta Cydryna Marie for being wonderful even when she's been dealing with stuff. She is unbelievably awesome. Please review & let me know if I should continue. Thank you so much for clicking on this story I really hope you like it:)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything:) I just like to play with them;)**

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**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

_Mom?_

_I rubbed my eyes, questioning my sight__. When I spotted her, a feeling of dread washed over me. The lights were out and she was just sitting there with her back to me, staring at nothing. _

"_Mom?"_

_I asked out loud this time, hoping to get a response from her that would erase the feeling of dread that engulfed me, but nothing happened. She just went on sitting there like she hadn't heard me. So despite my feelings of uneasiness, I slowly started to make my way across the small space separating us. As I got closer I noticed that she had bald spots all over her head. Clumps of hair were lying in piles around the chair she was sitting in. _

"_Mom, are you all right?" I had started to make my way around the table, when I suddenly stopped. I had discovered the source of what was making me feel like something was horribly wrong. My mother's eyes were missing, leaving maggots crawling in the empty sockets, and that's when the screaming started._

I bolted right up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. I was breathing heavily, and my heart was hammering in my chest, as if I had just run a mile. I thought I was done with these dreams. I glanced at my alarm clock on the table next to me.

2:44 am

I ran a hand through my dark, long curls and leaned back against my head board.

_Great, just great,_ _what a great way to start out my senior year, having a nightmare about my dead mother just before my first day of school_

I knew it was useless to try and go back to sleep again, so I tossed my covers off and headed downstairs to get a glass of water. As I made my way to the stairs, I crept past my dad, Charlie's, room so that I didn't wake him. I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs and stood in the doorway to our small kitchen. I set a barefoot on the cold linoleum and felt the feeling of uneasiness overtake me again, I felt as if I was reliving my nightmare. I sighed as light flooded the kitchen, revealing that I was alone, and washing away the feeling of uneasiness with it. I crossed to the cabinet above the sink and retrieved a glass. I proceeded to fill my glass with cold, refreshing water. I turned off the faucet and sighed again.

_I should be over this already, she died and I'm ok with it._

I took a sip of my water and sat on the stool as I allowed myself to relive the last year.

_My mom, Renee, had had the flu for over two weeks when Charlie had finally convinced her to go to the doctors. I waited at home while she was treated. It had been over 6 hours since they left and I couldn't reach my parents on their cell phones, I was become seriously worried. Just when I was about to hitch a ride to the hospital, Charlie walked through the door, alone, looking as if someone had just killed his puppy. _

"_Where's mom?" I remembered asking, knowing that I wasn't going to like the answer._

"_Bells, let's go sit in living room?" He ran his hand over his chin as he led the way into the living room._

"_Dad, what is it? What's wrong with mom?" I sat across from him on our shabby loveseat and waited while tears welled up in his chocolate brown eyes, the same color as mine. "Dad?"_

"_Your mom has cancer, leukemia to be exact." His voice broke at the end of the sentence. He lowered his head into his hand and I could see his body move with silent sobs. I just sat there, staring at him, waiting for him to shout "April's Fools", or tell me he was joking, but he didn't, he just continued to cry. I hadn't noticed it but tears had been running down my cheeks as we both sat there in silence. I was the one to finally break the silence after what seemed like forever._

"_She'll be ok right? I mean they have all sorts of treatments they can use. She'll be fine right dad?" I refused to believe that she wouldn't make it. _

"_I don't know Bella, the doctors say that we can try chemotherapy, but they doubt it will help much. They say that it might be too late, it has spread Bells." He spoke without raising his head. He couldn't face this news anymore than I could at the moment._

_After that horrible night, things just got a lot worse. __She never came home from the hospital and t__he doctors had given my mom about six months to live, but by the way she looked, I thought it would be lucky if she had another two. I tried to continue with school the best I could, only telling my best friends Angela Weber and Jacob Black what was happening at home._

_Charlie threw himself into his work. He claimed that he had to keep up with the mounting medical bills but I knew it was because he couldn't stand watching the love of his life wither away and die. So e__very day after school, I would go to the hospital and just sit with her.__It was hard, sitting there knowing that it was only a matter of time till she was gone. But I had to __stay strong for both my mom and Charlie. _

The doctors were wrong about one thing concerning my mom. They had said she had six months to live. The cancer had destroyed her within three.

By the time I was finished remembering the last few months of my mom's life, I had finished my glass of water and it was already partially full again, only this time with my tears. I missed my mom a lot, but who I missed even more was my dad. He had changed since her death and not for the better.

After my mom's funeral, Charlie took off work at the police station, as Chief of Forks Police, for a few days. But those few days started to turn into weeks. He would just lie around the house, not doing anything. If it wasn't for me, he would have starved. Finally I had had enough and practically forced him out of the house, and back to work. I remembered this day as if it were yesterday.

_I had just finished making dinner for him, when he walked in the door. I called to him from the kitchen without turning away from the meal._

"_Dad? You're home early. I just finished dinner." I turned away and closed the stove, just in time to see him stumble through the entryway to the kitchen. "Dad?"_

"_What the hell is this mess?" he had started to walk towards me. As he made his way, he tripped over his own feet but caught himself before falling._

"_Um…I just made dinner for you," I said backing away from him, pressing myself against the counter._

"_You'll fucking clean this shit up," and with that he'd closed the small distance between us, I could see the anger in his eyes and smell the alcohol on his breath._

"_But don't you want to ea……?" before I could fully get my question out, he back handed me. I placed my hand over my cheek as tears welled up in my eyes. Charlie had never hit me before, even when I was a child; he had always believed you could teach a child how to behave without hurting them. _

"_What?! Are you crying now?" his voice raised as his words started to slur together. "You've always been a piece of shit. If it wasn't for you, your mom would still be here." I could tell that he was coming in for another blow. But luckily I was faster than him in his drunken state. I ducked under his raised hand and ran for the stairs. I could hear him yelling at me as I made my way up the stairs but I didn't dare stop to see if he was following. I flew into my room and locked the door behind me. I had just curled up on my bed, when he started yelling and pounding on my door. I grabbed my iPod off of my bedside table and started to listen to my music as loud as I could, trying to drown out his yelling. Some fifteen minutes later he stopped his efforts of getting into my room. I didn't dare leave my room, or even take out my iPod. I fell asleep to the sound of Clair de Lune, and my own sobs._

_The next morning I found Charlie passed out on the couch. I remained as quiet as I could as I walked back upstairs to get ready for school. Luckily, the bruise from Charlie wasn't anything I couldn't cover with some make up. I stepped into the kitchen after getting ready, and froze. Charlie was there at the sink with his back to me, cleaning up the mess from dinner last night. I tried to leave the kitchen before he realized that I was there. As I turned to leave, my Chucks produced the loudest squeaking sound, and I froze in mid-movement._

"_Bells? I thought you were still asleep? Heading out for school?" I just stared at him. He was acting as if nothing had happened last night. I couldn't find my voice at the moment so I simply nodded my head. "Do you want breakfast or anything before you leave?" I shook my head no and bolted for the door before he could say anything else. _

_I kept my composure until I got to the school parking lot, where Angela found me sobbing in my truck._

Charlie kept drinking throughout the rest of the school year, but we never had a repeat of that night. I would often hear him stumbling up the stairs around midnight. It wasn't long until he lost his job at the police station. One day while he was out of the house, I took the opportunity to clean his filthy room. I was making his bed, after washing his sheets, when I found a small bag filled with a needle and a white substance I couldn't identify at first. Then it hit it me, Charlie was doing heroin! I sat down on his bed absolutely stunned. Alcohol didn't work at drowning his feelings so he resorted to heroin to try and make himself feel better. I began to think back on the few weeks; Charlie had seemed more relaxed lately. I knew he was still drinking because I could smell it on his breath in the morning. I just couldn't believe it. I thought about throwing the drugs away, but I didn't want a repeat of the first night he was drunk. So I stuffed the drugs back under the bed.

I wasn't proud that I was letting my dad ruin himself by using the drugs, but I was so afraid that if he found out that I knew, it would resurrect the angry Charlie from that first night.

After being alert a few minutes ago, sitting in the brightly lit kitchen, I was suddenly drained thinking about how my life had taken a turn for the worse. I dumped my glass in the sink, and headed out of the kitchen. I flicked the light off and made my way upstairs, to my room. I fell into bed, and buried myself in my warm covers. I glanced at my alarm clock before giving into sleep.

3:26am

I fell asleep with the hope that this year would be better than the last, not knowing just how wrong I could be.

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**Thanks again if you actually took the time to read this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reading so far, I can't believe that someone besides myself is interested in this story. **

**Much love to my beta Cydryna Marie, she is amazing:) check out some of her stories.**

**Disclaimer: S.M. owns it all:)3**

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**Chapter 2**

**CPOV**

Sitting up in bed, I switched on the lamp beside me. For the past two hours I had attempted to drift into a deep sleep that would help me forget, but sleep was refusing to show itself. I fluffed up my pillows behind me and rested back against them. I took a glance at the clock on the opposite wall.

2:36 am

It was two hours ago that I received the call that changed things for me.

I had been fast asleep, when I heard my phone buzzing on the table next to my bed. I reached over in my groggy state and answered,

"H-hello?" I mumbled into the receiver, I hadn't received calls this late since I lost my job at the station. A booming voice answered on the other end.

"Swan! Where the fuck is my money?" I sat right up in bed.

"Emmett…uh…I uh said I get the money as soon as possible."

"That isn't fucking good enough. I need my money now! I'm tired of you using my shit and never paying for it. This fucking ends now!" I shuddered as I heard him growl the last sentence.

"I-I can get you the money in like a month. I just got a new job…" before I could finish my sentence I was cut off.

"I don't want your damn life story, I just want my fucking money. You have until Tuesday."

"Tuesday?!" I prevented myself from screaming the word, as to not wake Bella. "B-but tomorrow is Monday, there is no way that I…"

"I either have my 15,000 dollars by Tuesday, or you'll be sorry that you ever tried to mess with me." The line went dead. I sat there for the next few minutes with the phone still pressed to my ear, remembering the first time I had heard of Emmett.

I was almost passed out on my stool at the bar, when the blond one walked up to me.

"Hey," he said as he slid onto the stool next me.

"Yea," I managed to get out as a greeting.

"You look pretty fucked up, sorry, rude I know," He shoved his hand in my direction. "I'm Jasper and I think I know how to make you feel better." I turned on my stool to face the guy, ignoring his hand, who looked more like an angel than the devil that helped me ruin my life. I should have known something was off about him. He looked too clean for the bar I was in. He had on a three-piece suit, and not a single honey blond hair was out of place on his head.

"What are you talking about?" I slurred out to the stranger next to me.

"I've got something to make you feel better, to make all of your pain go away. I know who you are Charlie, I know you want to erase the pain." His voice lulled me into a sense of security. I don't think I would have refused to go with him even if I was sober. He led me to a back room of the bar. The room was small, but cozy. It had two big, comfy armchairs with a single table in between the chairs. Jasper sat in one, and motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sank into chair and sighed, the bar stool was anything but comfortable. I glanced over at Jasper, who was fiddling with something next to him I couldn't see.

"How did you know my name?" I asked, becoming slightly wary of the man next to me.

"Your wife's death was in the Forks Tribune, I recognized you from when you were Chief of Forks Police." He answered me without looking up from his task. 'Were', he also knew that I had lost my job.

"And just what exactly do you have that can make the pain of losing my wife go away." I spat at him. With that he looked up at me, and showed me what he was working on. In his hand he had a needle filled with a substance I wasn't sure of and a piece of cloth. "What is that?"

"This is heroin and it can make the pain go away, unlike alcohol. Do you want to give it a shot, no pun intended." He held up the needle for me. I could feel the pain in my chest from when he brought up Renee. I missed her so much, and I needed something to fill the hole in my chest from when she died. So far alcohol had just numb the pain, and the pain always came back the next day. I was desperate for freedom from the ache that had replaced all other feeling. I squeezed my eyes shut and pictured, Bella, my daughter, the only reason I was still alive. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that not only would I end up hurting myself by using this but I knew I was cause her harm too, but that ache in my chest refused to go away, and I was at the point where I would do anything to be rid of it. I forced Bella from my thoughts and opened my eyes. Without facing him I asked,

"How do I do it?" He got up and walked over to my chair, with a slight smile on his face. He knelt in front of me and began to work. He tied the piece of cloth tightly around my bicep. Then he began to test for a vein at the bend of my arm. He finally found the vein, and slid the needle in. I felt the effects about ten seconds after he finished injecting me, and it was wonderful. It erased the pain and filled the hole in my chest. I felt like I was on cloud nine. Jasper stayed with me until my high wore off. I told him I needed more, and he happily obliged. I was on a credit with him and the guy who was his boss. I could have the drug as long as I paid up later. Jasper gave me a small bag of the heroin, and showed me how to inject it. He offered to drive me home, but I felt fine enough.

Bella was already asleep when I got home, so I stumbled up the stairs as quietly as I could, being drunk and high. I collapsed on my bed and didn't wake up until the next evening.

Bella knew I lost my job without me having to tell her, so she didn't bother me. I had started dipping into her college money just so that we could keep living in our house.

Since then I had gotten a job doing stock at the local grocery store. I kept going to Jasper for more drugs, and soon found out who his boss was, Emmett. We had hung out together at the bar occasionally, and had semi-become friends, if that could ever happen between a druggie and his supplier. My typical day was work, dinner with Bella to try and convince her that I was getting better, and then I would excuse myself to my room, and attempt to achieve the same high I got the first night with Jasper in the bar. When I couldn't get that high, I would drink in my room until I passed out.

I started to see the effect my behavior was having on Bella. I tried to stop using the drug, but I would always fail and end up sticking the needle back in my arm.

I banged my head against my headboard, trying to think of a way to come up with 15,000 dollars by Tuesday. I fixed my pillows and laid back on my bed. I switched my light off, and rolled over. Coming up with that money was impossible and that was exactly what Emmett was counting on.

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**Please read & review, if you do I'll love you forever:)**


	3. Chapter 3

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Thanks again for taking the time out of your lives to read this:) It truly means alot to me

Shout out to my kickass beta Cydryna Marie:) Much love cause I would be no where without you

Oh & one more thing...pretty please review, I'll love you forever!

Disclaimer: S.M. is the one who came up with the characters I just like to have fun;)

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**Chapter 3**

**EPOV**

"Ohhhh Edward...yea…oh yes, I'm almost there."

Tanya's strawberry blonde curls bounced around her face that was contorted in pleasure. I lay back against the bed as she continued to ride me.

I started to feel her walls clench around my cock just as my phone started to vibrate on the table next to the king size bed. I reached for my phone and checked the caller I.D. Just as I finished reading the familiar name that flashed on the screen of my phone, I felt Tanya's hands smack against my bare chest.

"What the hell?! Edward, can't you stop looking at your phone for like five fucking minutes, so that I can finally complete an orgasm? God you are such an asshole." She rolled off me and stomped off into the bathroom of the hotel we were staying in. I had never brought Tanya back to my apartment. I didn't mind having sex with her, but the last thing I needed was for her to think that we were destined for each other or some shit. As she slammed the door shut, I flipped open my cell and started to read the message from Emmett.

_Get your ass over here!_

I sighed and rolled off the bed. I managed to find my discarded boxers among the piles of clothes surrounding the bed. I pulled them on as I walked over to the glass sliding door that led to a private balcony. It was still unseasonably cold for the end of summer, but I had grown accustomed to the weather Port Angeles threw at its inhabitants. I ran my fingers through my disheveled bronze hair as I stared out of the window.

The last thing I wanted to do was go deal with Emmett.

I continued to stare out at the skyline of Port Angeles when I heard Tanya finally come out of the bathroom. I didn't acknowledge her presence until she was pressed against my back, snaking her arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she mumbled against my back, "I know how stressful your life can be."

I sighed as I took a hold of wrists and wormed my way out of her grip. I ran a hand through my hair as I turned to face her.

"Listen Tanya, the last few weeks were…nice. But I just don't have time for this."

"Oh, well I know Emmett needs you right now, so we can finish what we started when you get back," she smiled as she traced the contours of my abs with her fingernail. I sighed; this was going to be more difficult than I thought.

"No Tanya, I mean I don't have time for you…at all." I stared right into her eyes as I spoke, hoping she would understand this time. I watched, feeling no emotions, as tears welled up in her baby blues eyes. "Listen I have to go, Emmett needs me," I moved away from the window in attempt to find my clothes scattered on the floor. Tanya never turned around or spoke another word to me as I dressed and gathered my belongings and headed out the door.

After paying for the room, I stepped out onto the street into the blinding sunlight. I stood for a second trying to get my eyes adjusted to the bright light, before I paid the valet to retrieve my car.

It was ten minutes later before I saw my silver Volvo pull up to the curb.

"What the fuck took so long?" I nearly growled as the valet pressed my keys into my hand.

"Uhh…I'm sorry sir. Traffic was…"

"I don't give a damn what traffic was like." I walked over to the driver's side, "Don't expect a fucking tip," I spat at him before I slipped into the driver's seat and out of sight.

I sped away from the curb, nearly running over an old lady in my haste to make it to my apartment.

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I arrived five minutes later, hopping out of my car, and tossing my keys to the startled looking valet outside of my building.

Once inside my apartment, I stripped and headed straight for the shower. Before hopping into the warm water, I glanced at my phone again.

I had 17 text messages and 3 voice mails, all from Emmett no less.

Well he could shut the fuck up. I was taking a shower before I headed out. I stepped into the running water and instantly felt calm. The water relaxed my taunt muscles and washed away all of worry about dealing with Emmett. It wasn't that I feared Emmett, I grew up with him, but the amount of texts and calls I received within the last 15 minutes I knew he was pissed, and I knew I didn't want to deal with him when he was in one of his moods.

I stepped out of the shower a little later and wrapped a towel around my waist. I stepped into the master bedroom that attached to the bath, in search for something to wear. Throwing on a dark t-shirt and some dark washed jeans, I discarded my towel on my bed, ran a hand through my wet hair, grabbed my phone, and was out the door. Keeping Emmett waiting for too long was like poking the sleeping bear, not good.

My car was being pulled up to the curb as I stepped outside. I slid a twenty into the kid's hand as I retrieved my keys from him.

In no time I was across town, parking my Volvo, and walking into the bar where Emmett liked to meet. I nodded at the bartender who was wiping glasses with a dirty rag. I headed to the door in the back marked 'Private'.

I pushed open the door to the familiar, "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN CULLEN?!" and knew that this meeting wasn't going to be pleasant.

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**Do you like Edward? Let me know in a review:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there:) Thanks again to everyone who has read & review. It means to world to me.**

**Have you met my kick-ass beta Cydryna Marie? You haven't? Well you need to cause she is AWESOME:)**

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**Chapter 4**

**EPOV**

I took a moment to gather my surroundings before I addressed the voice of the person who yelled. The room was dark and filled with smoke. Two unidentifiable bodies were slumped over each other on the couch closest to the door. I started to make my way across the room toward where I knew the voice originated from. Through the haze I spotted the table where the meeting was being held.

Emmett was sitting at the head of the table, with five other chairs seated around it. On his left side was Rosalie Fitzgerald, the girl who had finally captured Emmett's attention for more than 20 minutes. On the right side was an empty seat, waiting to be filled, by me. I slid into my chair between Emmett and Jasper. I glanced around the table and nodded at the familiar faces. The other two chairs were filled by Emmett's lackeys, Felix andDemetri.

"So are you going to answer my question or just smirk like the arrogant asshole that you are?"

"I was at my apartment, clam the fuck down."

"Fuck you Cullen, I'm not going to put up with your shit anymore, if you don't…" I had cut him off before he could continue with his speech about being the 'boss'.

"I fucking get it; you're the one who can get the drugs. Now can we move on to why you called me out here?" He looked at me for a moment with an expression resembling anger but I knew it was for show.

"Edward can you try, for once, to not ruin his reputation here?" Jasper whispered in my ear as he leaned toward me. As he leaned away, I saw his smirk fading away. It was sort of hard to continue with this facade that Emmett was all powerful or some shit. I'd known him, and Jasper, since the beginning of our freshman year of high school. Back then Emmett was the biggest softy I'd ever known. That was until the pressures of school, soccer, and work got to him. That's when he met Marcus, the guy that got Emmett high for the first time. Being the best friends that we were, Emmett told us about Marcus, and we all started to get high with him. Somehow we all managed to graduate high school, and that's when Emmett became a full time drug dealer. Marcus had in all honesty taken Emmett under his wing, and showed him all the drugs you could get high off of. But one day Marcus was shot by a rival drug dealer in Port Angeles. Emmett then began to run the business Marcus left behind. He asked for mine and Jasper's help. We couldn't turn him down. Although Emmett, Jasper, and I don't use anymore, a lot of the people that worked for him still did. We each had our own little job to do to keep the operation running smoothly. Emmett got the drugs while Jasper supplied the clientele. I was the muscle, if someone didn't pay, I'd oversee the consequences. That must be the reason I was called here tonight.

"So all powerful Emmett," he threw a light punch at my arm, "how come I'm here?"

"Former Chief Swan hasn't kept up his end of the bargain, and I feel he needs a little persuasion in order to get me my money." All around the table there were murmurs about disrespect, and payback. I ignored them all and spoke to Emmett directly.

"So what needs to be done?"

"Swan has a daughter he told me about, I think we need to pay her a visit. Edward, I want you to keep her at the cabin you have near Lake Aldwell."

"How long?"

"I'm only giving Swan a week to come up with my money."

"What do you want me to do at the end of the week?"

"Kill her."

I simply stared at him. This wasn't the Emmett I grew up with. This wasn't the Emmett I'd know for so long. There was no remorse, no guilt, no emotion in his eyes. I thought I was the only one who was affected by this change in him until I felt Jasper shift uncomfortably in his seat next to me. Everyone else at that table went about their business as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Not even Rosalie batted an eye. She acted as if this was normal behavior for the guy she fell in love with. Emmett never ordered anyone to be seriously injured, just roughed up so the person was scared into paying. I wasn't even the one who normally beat up the non-paying customers, that job was left to Felix and Demetri. I was there to make sure they didn't get out of hand, and now Emmett was ordering me to kill an innocent girl. I wasn't sure what to say, let alone do in this situation.

So I put on my own facade and said words I never thought I'd say.

"Kill her? You got it." I faced away from Emmett, staring at a point on the wall opposite me, tuning out what Emmett said next. In the time it took me before I could answer him I decided that I should play along for now, perhaps Charlie Swan would get the money before the deadline was up and I wouldn't have to deal with Emmett's order. I knew as soon as I said it that it was too good to be true. While I was reveling in how to get out of this situation, I heard Emmett's voice pulling me from my trance.

"Edward? Are you listening?" I turned to face him.

"What? Sorry I tuned out for a second. What were you saying?"

"God pay fucking attention. I was saying that I wanted to give our two new recruits a job in all this." He glanced over at the couch near the door as he spoke. I followed his gaze. The two lumps on the couch, I now recognized as Mike and Tyler, two new junkies Emmett had rounded up to work for him. They didn't contribute much to the group, but for some reason Emmett kept them around. "I think I'll have them get Isabella."

"Isabella?"

"Yes, Swan's daughter. Sometime you are so fucking stupid." Knowing her name made it much more difficult to even contemplate killing her. I didn't even want to think about what would happen when I met her. "Mike and Tyler will get her from her house, and meet you at Elwha Dam, where you will pick her up and take her to the cabin for the week."

"Uh…yea ok." I stared at Emmett trying to see the person he used to be, the one who wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Well that's it. You pretty much know all the shit you have to do. The only thing left is to make sure that Tyler and Mike don't fuck anything up."

"So I can go now?"

"Yea I'll text you if I need anything." I got up from my chair and listened vaguely to the sounds of goodbye coming from around the table. I stumbled out of the bar, unaware that someone was behind me.

"Hey." I spun around almost losing my balance, just to see Jasper leaving the bar right behind me. "You ok?"

"Yea I'm fine" the cool night air was clearing my mind. I was thinking straight again.

"I know how your feeling. That wasn't the Emmett we knew in there."

"Yea but what the fuck are we going to do about it?" He chuckled humorously at this.

"Absolutely nothing. Just follow orders like we always do." All signs of mocking were gone, he looked like a defeated man.

"Like always." I said as I spun on my heel, away from Jasper. As I walked to my car, I tried to convince myself that what just happened wasn't real. I tried and I failed.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I was late on this one guys.**

** & thanks so much for all the love in reviews**

**once a again a much needed shout out to my kick ass beta Cydryna Marie**

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**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I rolled out of bed to the sound of rain pattering on the roof. Nothing new there. I grabbed my clothes from my old pine dresser near the window and padded barefoot to the bathroom at the top of the stairs. Out in the hallway I noticed Charlie's door was still closed, indicating that he was still asleep.

I closed the door silently behind me and flicked the light above the sink on. I stared in the mirror, noticing the dark circles that have seemed to make my face their permanent home. Typically, I had clear, pale skin but since the reoccurring nightmares had begun I had purplish bruises under both of my chocolate brown eyes. I dabbed a little concealer under each eye and smooth it in until it wasn't noticeable. My long brown hair curled naturally around my face with only the help of a headband to keep it looking nice. I brushed my teeth and slipped my headband in before changing into dark jeans and lacy white camisole with a navy blue v-neck sweater over it.

I gathered my pajamas and flicked the light off before silently making my way back to my room. I grabbed my schoolbooks off of my desk and headed downstairs to get some breakfast.

In the kitchen I managed to find a box of cereal that wasn't stale and scarfed down a bowl before heading out the door.

It had managed to stop raining in Forks if only for a few minutes. I hurried into my rusty Chevy pickup before the sky could open up again, and made my way to Forks High.

Once I was in the parking lot, I spotted Angela waiting for me under the overhanging outside of the cafeteria. I threw my hood on, grabbed my book bag off the front seat, and made my over to my best friend.

"Hey Ang," I tried to manage a smile but a yawn interrupted the plan.

"Didn't sleep well?" Angela eyed me as we started to walk to our first class together.

"Eh I've had better nights."

"It wasn't Charlie again was it?" She had stopped walking so that she get a good look at my face, making lying to her futile.

"No it wasn't" I pushed past her, still making my way to the English building, where our first class was held. Angela was the only other person in Forks that knew about my situation with Charlie. While both Jake and Angela knew about what happened to my mom, I had only confided in Angela about Charlie. If Jake figured out what I had gone through, he would probably try and stop Charlie himself. The last thing I needed was more fighting. "It was just the nightmare."

Angela nodded. It was the only response she gave as we made our way to our seats toward the back of class.

We were studying _The Awakening_ in class today. The bell rang and Mr. Ferguson began to lecture about the strength of Edna Pontellier and how that strength led to loneliness. I attempted to pay attention for the first few minutes of class but ended up staring out of the window as the rain continued to fall for the remainder of the hour. Occasionally I would look over at Angela and see her eyes quickly shift back to the front of the classroom, because she'd been looking at me. I suppressed a sigh. I knew Angela was only trying to look out for me but her constant worrying about me was starting to get annoying. I had managed this far on my own, I didn't need her.

This time I did sigh out loud. I saw Angela glance at me and then quickly look away. I knew my last thought was a lie. If Angela hadn't been there for me I don't think I could have made through my mom's death let alone the after effect it had on Charlie. She was a great friend and I should be thanking her for everything, not getting annoyed at her attempt to help.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the hour. The rest of the day went by in a meaningless blur. The only part of the day that stood out was lunch. Typically that's the time when me and Ang get to see Jake, since we have no other classes together. Today he was nowhere to be found.

Ang and I sat at our usual table in the corner farthest from the entrance. This had been our table since the first day of school freshman year. Jake and I had been friends from before, when things were normal. His father Billy used to go fishing with Charlie. We were sitting, eating our lunch, when Angela walked over and asked to sit with us. We had said yes, and from that day on we had become inseparable. That is until today.

Maybe Jake was sick and didn't make to class? That didn't make sense, he would have sent me a text letting me know, just like he always had, before now. I checked my phone making sure I didn't miss his text, only to see that I hadn't. After lunch, Angela and I went our separate ways, neither one of having the same class in the afternoon.

I didn't pay attention in my last classes, my mind was too involved in what had happened to Jake. This wasn't normal behavior for him. I was honestly a little bit worry. It was ridiculous to be worried, nothing bad ever happened in Forks.

I said a quick bye to Angela in the parking lot after classes before I headed home.

When I had pulled up to the curb in front of house Charlie's car was gone. With his new job as a stock guy at the Thriftway, he was home early. Once I was home, I worked on trying to gather enough food to make an edible meal for me and Charlie for when he got home.

By the time he walked in the front door, I had two pieces of barbecued chicken in the oven, my homework done, and the housed picked up. I was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for the meal to be ready when I heard him walk in.

"Hey Bella," he shouted while taking off his coat in the hallway. This was the worst part of the day for me, the awkward interaction between a teenage daughter and her drug addicted and alcoholic father. It lasted only for an hour at most, as we ate dinner. Then he would claim he was tired from work or a sleepless night, or some other lie and retire to his room. Not that this was in any way a normal routine for a person, it was nice because I wasn't constantly forced to act as if everything was ok between us.

Once the meal was done we ate in silence, as is routine. I cleared the dishes from the table once we were finished and stood at the sink waiting to see what excuse he would come up with tonight. Tonight though, his response shocked me.

"Ummm," he cleared his throat as if expecting to face him while he talked. I didn't move. "I'm going to watch TV. Do you want to join me?"

I dropped the plate I was washing into the soapy water, sending water into the air. I turned slowly toward him. Maybe I had heard him wrong, or he was joking but I when I looked at him, he was staring sheepishly at his feet. He looked up after a moment when I didn't answer.

"So how about it Bells?"

"Um I have homework," It was a flat out lie but I hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Oh ok," I think he was too embarrassed by the fact that I shot him down to pick up on the lie. "I understand. School is important."

I turned back to the sink without a word. After a few minutes of awkward silence, I heard his chair scrape across the linoleum floor as he made his way back to his room.

I finished the dishes and went up to my room closing and locking the door behind me. I had no idea what would happen now that I refused Charlie's offer. He didn't look angry, just sad and embarrassed but I wasn't welcoming him into my room if he decided later that he was angry after all.

Since I had finished my homework already, I went over to the small pile of books I had on my desk and attempted to get lost in the romance of Romeo & Juliet. It was a failed attempt, every creak the house made as it settled in for the night had me on edge. I was afraid that it would be Charlie seeking his revenge.

After an hour of jumping at every noise, I relaxed a little. With Charlie out of my mind I had more time to worry about why Jacob wasn't at school, and why he hadn't let me know. I sent him a text once classes ended to see what was up but never got a response back, which wasn't like him. I eventually put my book away and attempted to sleep. I found that sleep came easy tonight after last night's nightmare.

I fell asleep to the noise of the wind outside my window, hoping that Jacob would be at school tomorrow, so that I could put these silly fears to rest.

* * *

**Read & Review please:D**


	6. Please Read

Hey guys:D

I honestly cannot thank you guys enough for reading my writing. It means the world to me.

I feel horrible because I haven't responded to reviews or updated in forever, but it's the holidays and I'm super busy. I'm still working on chapter 6 and it probably won't be here till the middle or end of January. I apologize for the delay but my life is just really busy at the moment.

I hope you understand

Thanks for the support

Chapter 6 is coming I promise

:D

-Ashley


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